This is the way you would get through boss "fights", with donuts as protetion items. A small fanfiction. Actually I think you couldn't get through most of the levels, and the Silver Sonic fight is way too risky, especially for the weakly me. So it's just some abstract funny things.
Emerald Hill Zone
Eggman: "I'll kill you, Soni... WAIT! Where the heck is Sonic? And who are you?"
Me: "A man who decided to do Sonic stages in real life. There is no Sonic there."
Eggman: "DAMMIT!"
Me: "I understand."
Eggman: "Why the heck do you do it anyway?!"
Me: "I want to win the Internet the second time"
Eggman: "You're crazy."
Me: "Yes. Want a donut?"
Eggman: "Sure."
Me: "I'll do level select just in case if a stage will be some sort of an instant-death for a human."
Eggman: "0-o"
Me: "By the way, in the game your drill car is pathetic. You should change your plans in case you actually want to kill poor sonic."
Eggman: "DAMMIT!"
Chemical Plant Zone
Eggman: "Soni..., ah, sorry, hello again."
Me: "Put something in there so that Sonic can't immediately hit you WHILE your tube gets the chemical.
Eggman: "DAMMIT!"
Me: "Oh, I just wanted to help you.
Eggman: "Can't stand smarta$$es."
Me: "Sorry."
Eggman: "That's me, who should say sorry. Your tips are actually helpful."
Me: "Want a cookie?"
Eggman: "Yep."
Me: "OK".
Aquatic Ruins Zone
Eggman: "Sonic! Sonic the hedgehog, goddammit! Come here now!
Me: "As he isn't currently here, may I suggest you to edit it so that the totem poles are already all the way up instead of rising up as Sonic arrives.
Eggman: "Why so?"
Me: "Cause otherwise Sonic immediately gets on top of a pole and then just spindashes into you for a cheap hit. I know it casue that's the way I pass this stage when I play it in-game.
Eggman: "Ouch, that really sucks. Thank you!"
Me: "Want another donut?"
Eggman: "No way, bastard! I'm already dangerously close to being too large for several of my contraptions, and building another one can be VERY costly!"
Me: "Oops. Sorry."
Casino Night Zone
Eggman: "It's a long and boring wait!"
Me: "I understand."
Eggman: "And what do you suggest this time, Mr. SmartiePants?"
Me: "Pretty much nothing, actually. Only you might want to change the round corners to normal square corners. So that you can't cheap your way out with a small spindash. It's still possible to use flippers, but it would be hard enough to not to matter THAT much."
Eggman: "OK, then!"
Me: "Want another donut?"
Eggman: "DAMMIT!"
Hill Top Zone
Eggman: "Soni, ah that's you again. And what will you annoyingly nitpick this time?"
Me: "Everything. This is so flawed from the beginning, that unless you figure out a way to mdify it so that you can't be hit at the moment you come out of lava, you may just as well ditch the entire idea."
Eggman: "Is it so bad?"
Me: "Easiest boss fight in the history of Sonic games!"
Eggman: "But if he tries to do the bounce, won't he fall into lava?"
Me: "There're RINGS."
Eggman: "DAMMIT."
Mystic Cave Zone
Eggman: "And I at first thought you are Sonic's follower. Your little touches are amazing."
Me: "And this time, either make your contraption more dangerous to hit, or just go faster. I really can't think of anything else to add. It's also possible to change it into something different."
Eggman: "You're very crazy for attempting this. I really didn't think it's possible to go this far. I'll have to change the level traps as well."
Me: "Whatever."
Oil Ocean Zone
Eggman: "You like it?"
Me: "If you wouldn't resurface to check out the damage, then yeah. And also block the oil, otherwise Sonic can hide in there and you won't even know. Make a radar or something."
Eggman: "Wow, that actually... that actually works!"
Me: "Want another donut?"
Eggman: "Not really, or I probably won't fit in my next invention."
Me: "Err, whoops."
Metropolis Zone
Eggman: "One of my best anti-Sonic contraptions."
Me: "Um, yeah, especially if you don't do your opening up attacks, and just start lasering everything before the sphere shield gets blown. It's nearly impossible that way."
Eggman: "At least there's nothing to change in the contraption itself."
Me: "Maybe, remove the now unnecessary opening up option, to not to make bloated software for your gagdet."
Eggman: "DAMMIT! Sorry, I just hate rebuilding something over and over."
Me: "Want another donut?"
Eggman: "Oh, COME ON! It's already a snug fit and I really want to have something for this place!"
Me: "You know, you could save it up for later, when Sonic gets defeated. You can be as fat as you want then."
Eggman: "Thank you."
Sky Chase Zone
Me: "Eggman, Eggman, where are you, oh crap, this is a no boss zone, dammit!"
Wing Fortress Zone
Eggman: "Got you! Pretty impossible to get outta there, no?"
Me: "Sonic can. Your laser barries are generated by the laser at the top's programs, and when that's broken, the barriers will disperse. Want to be real cheap? Disconnect the programs. So that when you defeat the laser at the top, the barriers will never vanish.
Eggman: "And how will I get around that?"
Me: "Break floors, build ladders."
Eggman: "Sorry, this is just impractical."
Me: "Whatever, this is still pretty tough when you actually play the game. And if you do a real-life run, it's impossible. GET ME OUTTA HERE!"
Eggman: "Oops, sorry. *disables barries* Here you go."
Me: "Could you take me to Death Egg Zone? It's the last zone before I win the internet the second time!"
Eggman: "Sorry, forgot about that. Let's go on!"
Death Egg Zone
Silver Sonic: YOU WILL DIE!
Eggman: Uh-oh, sorry, I kinda forgot about that. I don't think I will be able to turn it off fast enough.
Me: *waits for Silver Sonic charging a spindash*
Eggman: "What the hell are you waiting for?!"
Me: *whistling a merry tune, and going out of the plane , hanging onto the lader, just as Silver Sonic dashes.*
Silver Sonic: *dashes out of plane, falls to his death*
Me: *goes back in* "I've expected it. That was pretty stupid of him, don't you think?"
Eggman: "DAMMIT! That was my only prototype for Metal Sonic."
Me: "Sorry. I've had to get through, you know. And I have two important tips for your final huge Eggman boss fight".
Eggman: "Sorry. OK, what do you suggest?"
Me: "Make it taller and harder to hit, and don't bend over when you land. That's it".
Eggman: "Thanks".
Me: "Want another donut? Just kidding, I don't have em anymore. I'll have to go back, I quit." *vanishes by quitting the game*
Eggman: "Whoever he was, he sure helped me!"
Emerald Hill Zone
Sonic: "What the hell is this? There should have been a drill tank...."
Eggman: "I've changed my ways".
Sonic: "DAMMIT!"
